'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says… ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present… Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’

Freddie Flintoff and W.G. Grace: Together at last!W.G. Grace Ate My Pedalo is a spoof 1896 periodical from The Wisden Cricketer archives that looks at cricketing events of 2010 through a Victorian lens. Funny, irreverent and lavishly illustrated, the book draws inspiration from the exuberant sporting papers of the Victorian era to lampoon England cricketers new and old.From Queen Victoria's views on women's cricket to Freddie Flintoff's heroic defiance of the Temperance Movement, no figure - historical or contemporary - is safe.A comedy cricket book of wit, intelligence and cheek that will appeal to cricket fans of all ages, be they members of the MCC or the Barmy Army.

‘This is a funny and beautiful book. What a little bastard.’ RUSSELL BRAND ‘A millennial's answer to David Sedaris. No writer is funnier than Joel Golby.’ DOLLY ALDERTON A collection of full-throated appreciations, withering assessments, and hard-won lessons by the popular journalist. There are a few things you need to know about Joel Golby. Both his parents are dead. His dad was an alcoholic. He himself has a complicated relationship with alcohol. He once went to karaoke three times in five days. He will always beat you at Monopoly, and he will always cheat. Joel makes a name for himself as a journalist who brings us distinguished articles such as ‘A Man Shits On A Plane So Hard It Has To Turn Around And Come Back Again’, but that says more about us than him. In his first book, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant Joel writes about important stuff (death, alcohol, loss, friendship) and unimportant stuff (Saudi Arabian Camel Pageants, a watertight ranking of the Rocky films, Monopoly), always with the soft punch of a lesson tucked within. Golby’s sharp, evocative prose thrives on reality and honesty that is gut-wrenchingly close to the bone, and laced with a copious dose of dark humour. Who is this book for? It is for everyone, but mainly people who are as lost and confused as Joel and just want to have a good laugh about it.